Tuesday, February 9, 2010

please don't

So I am sitting here watching/obsessing over Project Runway, realizing that I haven't written a post in a while (writing time doesn't come too often when kiddies, hubbies and work are involved), and fashion inspiration has hit me.

Fashion can be so many things, and every so often one of those things it can be is straight up TERRIFYING. Today I will run down the top 10 fashion trends that give me nightmares.

10. Clothes with "designer" labels plastered all over them. This includes von dutch, ed hardy, juicy couture, and other various "too cool for school" styleless clothing that people wear just because they are desperate for others to think they have money (this means you Jon Gosselin).

9. Ugg Boots. Ugh, I am so over these. I thought this was a fad that came and went, but for some reason I continue to see a ridiculous amount of women running around in 80 degree weather wearing short shorts and ugly ass ugg boots. I just don't get what the big deal is, do people actually think this looks good?

8. The new Louis Vuitton Fox Tail purse. This one is brand spanking new on the market and I am truly interested to see how many people sport the look before PETA steps in. They even sell the fox tail separately (puke!). Why would anyone want it to look like spray painted road kill is hanging from their bag?

7. Shoulder pads. A bad 80's fashion that has found its way back onto the runway. I am all about bringing back fashion from the past, but this look could and should only be pulled off by certain people...aka. lady gaga and runway models.

6. Puffy pants (not sure if this is even what they are accurately called in the fashion world). I really don't know why anyone thought it was a good idea to bring these pants back. I thought they died out when MC Hammer went bankrupt?! No normal sized female can even remotely begin to look decent in a pair of these bad boys.

5. Name earrings. Are you really that proud? I think the picture speaks for itself (shudder).

4. Denim jumpsuits. Too much denim, too much camel toe...lets leave the one piece denim outfits to the farmers.

3. Toeless boots. If it's cold enough to wear a boot outside, then it's cold enough to have your toes covered.....I mean, these just make already scary toes look even scarier. I can only imagine what a pain in the ass these suckers would be when hit with a typical Florida torrential downpour, or how crappy it would be when you're stuck in a crowded bar filled with drunk idiots who step all over your feet.

2. Heeless shoes. Another newbie that just looks painful. It puzzles me why anyone is aiming to look like a satyr. I guess the mythical creature look is in.

1. And now, for the number one look that sends me running in the opposite direction...The french pedicure (eek!). I know this isn't really a clothing style, but it is a style...a terrifyingly frightening style. Why you would want your toes to look like your fingers, I don't know, but when I see these little guys peeking up at me from the floor I cringe. They just look like they want to do things hands want to do...like stir a pot of soup or scratch your back. It's just not right.

I do realize that my list is a bit heavy in the footwear department, and this can very well be due to my extreme distaste in feet, but there is no denying the hideousness we just lived through.

I think I'll be sleeping with the night light on tonight.


  1. i couldn't stop laughing from 3 down (not to say i don't agree with the rest). well done lu!

  2. This was hilarious.. and so true. I love the toes like fingers, scratching back and stuff. And im right there with those ugly ass ugg boots. Hate em! And seriously, that purse? That thing needs to crawl right back into the hole it came out of!

  3. "I do realize that my list is a bit heavy in the footwear department, and this can very well be due to my extreme distaste in feet..."

    I think it's more likely due to your extreme OBSESSION with footwear! You got it from our mom. waaay too many shoes =)

  4. Ps i totally agree with the french pedicure. Ew. The hubs loves this look but I just can't do it. there are just WAY too many pretty nail polish colors to choose from anyways!

  5. haha...Lu, I'm gonna get a french pedicure and stir your soup for you :)