Monday, May 3, 2010

wait...was that? couldn't be!

It started out like any other Friday morning. Me, my jug-o-coffee, and some early rush hour traffic. Those who know me know that I am not the most patient of drivers. I tend to yell profanities even though no one can hear me, and occasionally flick people off. There just always seems to be that one idiot on the road at any given time!

That morning was no exception. As I approached the Turnpike I knew I would have to battle to merge on. To my surprise there was a perfect opening for me to join the herd, so I turned on my blinker and started to get in line. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, a red pick up truck sped up and slammed on its brakes to not let me in. I was caught off guard and was immediately annoyed, so I of course began to dick my way over just in spite. Just as I started to move, the truck zoomed up and cut me off again! ASSHOLE!

I pushed my way in just before he could move up again and glared into my rearview mirror to exchange and angry glance while mouthing an obscenity and possibly shaking my fist in the air. Before I could even get my lips to move I froze. Staring back at me was a pudgy round noggin, with whiter than white whiskers encircling his face...Santa?

I tilted my brows in confusion and focused on the road ahead so I wouldn't hold up traffic. Just to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me I glanced up one more time to take a good look. The truck that was once so eager to cut me off lagged so far behind me now that I couldn't even make a driver out...damn it! Maybe it was just an old moon-shiner...maybe my eyes were just playing tricks on me...I hadn't finished my coffee yet after all.

I spent the rest of my morning commute in typical fashion by scrolling between cheesy morning talk radio shows and the news on NPR. As I threw my blinker on to get off at my exit I noticed a red pick up truck in front of me. I smiled a little because the license plate read: 4 SANTA. I then noticed a "Santa's Sleigh" bumper sticker slapped onto the rear fender. Then it clicked. This was the guy that cut me off! I peered into his driver side mirror to see his face and sure enough...there was that pudgy round noggin with whiter than white whiskers! IT WAS SANTA!

All I could do at that point was chuckle to myself and think...what the hell?! First of all, who gets cut off by Santa...and second of all, aren't people who play Santa supposed to be cheery and kind hearted?! I mean seriously...what a jerk!

Now I am totally hell bent on going to the malls during the holidays to find this guy's truck, purposely not sit my kids on his lap, and give him a piece of my mind. It's bad enough that we sit our kids on strangers laps...who wants to knowingly do so on a total phony!