Monday, September 20, 2010

and sometimes they sit still....

Because I am tired and lazy...and because they are just so damn cute...

I probably could have picked a better time, like when they were clean and well dressed (as in the first 5 minutes of the morning), but it was an opportunity not to be missed. 

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

what to do when you don't know what to do

Today was an interesting day for me as a parent. It was the first time I was completely stumped with a toddler situation that I had to seek advice on.

Both Tim and I had late work meetings, so we had to set the little guys up with the sitter for after hours. In the middle of indulging in rosemary bread, pasta, mozzarella, and wine during my work dinner, a little light bulb flicked on in my was going on 7:30 pm and I hadn't yet checked on the boys (by this time I was imagining them having thoughts of abandonment).

I shot the sitter a quick text to make sure they weren't calling for mommy at the door.  I shortly received in return the following:

...Their good...eating dinner. Jonas got in trouble twice for squeezing my daughter's boob. Please discipline him when he gets home about touching girls...

Now, my immediate reaction was, "oh crap, how the hell am i going to handle this?!" My next reaction was, "the kid just turned 3...he couldn't have been serious about his positioning of the squeeze...what does she mean by 'discipline him'?"

I immediately turned to the only other mom at the table (who also happened to have 2 of which was also 3)....and asked her for some mommy moment advice. I showed her the text, gave her a look of panic, and desperately asked her what to do. She looked at the text, looked at me and said, "absolutely nothing."

I cocked my head to the side and twisted my entire face into a huge question mark. She continued, "He's 3. If you make a big deal out of this and get real specific about not squeezing boobs, he is going to go right back and do it again."

It made perfect sense. I decided to take a little of her advice, and mix it with a little of mine, with a dash of advice from another. I wasn't sure how to approach the whole situation about being told to "discipline" my kid, but I let that part go.

When I picked the boys up, I made it a point to let the sitter know that I would have a conversation with Jonas about keeping his hands to himself and minding people's personal space. (I wasn't about to put my kid on time out 8 hours after he did something wrong).

Of course when I got home and brought Tim up to speed on the situation, he immediately acted upon it without letting me give him my opinion by telling Jonas that he can't go grabbing and pinching girls, that it was bad, and needed to keep his hands to himself.

What did Jonas do? Immediately start reaching out to pinch tim on his shoulder and chest over and over again.

The moral of the story is that I learned a very valuable lesson in parenting today. Sometimes your kid does things that they shouldn't do...including grabbing boobs....but there are some situations that aren't fully understood by a newly turned 3 year old...and those situations need to be dealt with immediately and then left as they are, or else the intrigue from reminding them only perpetuates the issue.

I am sure his infatuation with boobies will only grow...lets just hope he keeps his hands to himself for awhile.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

born a ramblin woman

Traveling for work hasn't been easy. It isn't exactly peaches and cream to fly into a city you've never seen for a few nights and examine nothing more than cheesy drapes and a board room while leaving your children behind. On occasion you are actually given the chance to go out and explore the locale. Such instances can drum up interesting conversation between a native and the naive.

My recent travels, both personal and professional, have brought about some interesting sights and sounds that deserve recognition for being out-right ridiculous, and at times, completely heinous. Here are some prime examples from 2 of my most recent trips:

Bahamas (personal trip, but with my professional besties)

  • In getting off the cruise boat in the port: "Pretty ladies want some braids?...braids?....ladies want some braids? 'bout some braids for the pretty lady?"
  • In laying on the beach: "Jet skis...jet ski rentals...want some jet skis....ladies rent jet skis?"
  • "Banana boat ladies?...ladies want to ride banana boat?...banana boat ladies? (Repeat 2 or 3 times while laying in same spot on beach and giving the same answer each time to the same people asking...which results in...)
    • Ladies want jet skis?banana boat? how about bahama papa? free of charge! all the pleasure you desire! no? how about some jet skis? (at this point the only reaction is laughter...did I seriously just get asked if I wanted a "bahama papa" of charge!)
Kansas City (current work trip still in motion)
  • In getting on the plane and sitting next to a single lady: "Whew! Ladies! YES! No Men! Boy am I glad! You will not believe! husband just left me for his high school sweet heart!" (Just clicking my seat belt) "I'm heading out to help her husband and tell alllllll about it in court!" (story continues for about 30 minutes as flight takes off and attendants come to order our drinks) "I'll take a bloody mary" (leans towards us) "never ordered a drink before on a flight...yes, first time!" (woman proceeds to make drink and down it as fast as me the thought that this may not be quite her first time)
  • In sitting in the hotel lounge overhearing a seemingly well-off southern/mid-west couple's conversation: "We are heading to our favorite spot tonight...yes...they have got this group...all blacks...but boy they can sing!" (do people seriously talk like this?!) "But thank goodness it isn't Saturday...or else all those hoodlems would be out!" (Now, what do they exactly mean by this?....I then turn to my gal pal and breathe a sigh of relief for the fact that I may not have money, but at least I am not ignorant!)
  • In sitting in a good 'ol Kansas City bbq joint when the waitress approaches us: "fruit punch!" (huh?) "you have got to try jack daniels and fruit punch...goes together real well" (look at my lowly jack and ginger and give a nod in acknowledgment that a jack and fruit punch might not taste all that bad)

All in all, finding out about new places can be both fun and alarming. I consider myself a yank...and will continue to be a little naive in certain areas of the world that don't fall into my common place. No matter where my travels may bring me, I can't help but be that outsider that eavesdrops, and asks dumb questions, and down-right stares.....for better or worse, it's just in my nature.

Sunday, June 27, 2010


No matter how many years pass since my days as a waitress, my brain never fails to dig up the 'ol restaurant employment file to shake things up and cause me a restless night.

A serving nightmare can hit at anytime...a deep sleep in the middle of the night, a mid-day snoozer, a 20 minute power time is safe.

The theme of the dream is typically the, the old Italian dining stomping ground, and about 10 tables sat at once. No matter what I do I can't get drinks on time, can't get orders right, and can't remember what people had ordered when I go to type them in. I'm simply stuck so far in the weeds that not even another person's help can help, and I just need to try to keep the guests as happy as possible so they don't just walk out.

These dreams send me into such an anxiety ridden panic that my heart races and my breathing excellerates. I wake up in a cold sweat thanking my lucky stars it was only a dream...they always seem so real that I swear they actually are affecting my psyche.

Today I was actually able to sneak in an hour nap, but was left frustrated and even more exhausted by the insanity my brain was stewing up.

In this serving nightmare I had actually returned back to waiting tables after already having other jobs and my children. It had been so long that I had "forgotten" how to serve. I came incredibly ill prepared, and had even worn ridiculously high wedge sandals with my uniform. The restaurant had changed the way they served bread and butter at the table since I had worked there, and no matter what I did I just couldn't get the set up right....and NO ONE would help me. Meanwhile I had about 10 tables angrily waiting for me to get their drinks, bread and appetizers to them at the same time, while a new manager just followed me around complaining about everything I did.

I tossed, turned, and perspired so hard through my "nap" that I woke up soaking wet from the ordeal.

Now, I have had multiple jobs since leaving the waiting world, but none have left such an imprint on my hippocampus.

Hopefully my brain won't decide to revert back to finish that dream when I close my eyes this evening...although, I really do wonder if I ever got the food to the table on time...

Monday, June 21, 2010

is there, or isn't there?

Jonas and I tend to have some of our best conversations during the car ride home after daycare. Last friday had to be one of the best of all time...

"I want juice mommeeeeee!"

"Ok, you can have some juice when we get home"

"Dylan have milk mommy....da milk is in your boobies"

"No, there isn't any milk in mommy's boobies anymore"

"Yes dare is"

" there isn't anymore honey. Dylan only drinks bottles now"

"Yes dare IS MOMMY!"

"No, I really don't think there is anymore"

"YES DARE IS MOMMY! dare is milk in only one. dare is milk in one and not de oder"

"Oh really! so what you are saying is that only one boobie has milk in it still?"

"Yeah...only one has milk mommy...but not de oder one"

"Well ok...if you say so, but I really don't think so!"

And we left it at that...changing the subject to how we like green leaves and think we see alligators in the  water we drive by.

p.s. there is no milk in one.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

welcoming myself back to the blogosphere

Whew! It's been a bit longer than I had anticipated from my last post. I guess you can say a little something called life got in the know, tending to children, working, feeding hubby, working, tending to children, and so on.

A lot has been going to catch you up, here is a breakdown:

Work trip to Dallas and the Byron Nelson

(my awesome window seat....that had a beautiful view of a wall)

My birthday weekend in Siesta Key

Summer fun

Our first annual pig roast

The boys growing like beanstalks and getting into mischief 

A visit from my sis and baby niece

So there it is...or there it was....and here I am hopefully being good about being back.

Monday, May 3, 2010

wait...was that? couldn't be!

It started out like any other Friday morning. Me, my jug-o-coffee, and some early rush hour traffic. Those who know me know that I am not the most patient of drivers. I tend to yell profanities even though no one can hear me, and occasionally flick people off. There just always seems to be that one idiot on the road at any given time!

That morning was no exception. As I approached the Turnpike I knew I would have to battle to merge on. To my surprise there was a perfect opening for me to join the herd, so I turned on my blinker and started to get in line. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, a red pick up truck sped up and slammed on its brakes to not let me in. I was caught off guard and was immediately annoyed, so I of course began to dick my way over just in spite. Just as I started to move, the truck zoomed up and cut me off again! ASSHOLE!

I pushed my way in just before he could move up again and glared into my rearview mirror to exchange and angry glance while mouthing an obscenity and possibly shaking my fist in the air. Before I could even get my lips to move I froze. Staring back at me was a pudgy round noggin, with whiter than white whiskers encircling his face...Santa?

I tilted my brows in confusion and focused on the road ahead so I wouldn't hold up traffic. Just to make sure my eyes weren't playing tricks on me I glanced up one more time to take a good look. The truck that was once so eager to cut me off lagged so far behind me now that I couldn't even make a driver out...damn it! Maybe it was just an old moon-shiner...maybe my eyes were just playing tricks on me...I hadn't finished my coffee yet after all.

I spent the rest of my morning commute in typical fashion by scrolling between cheesy morning talk radio shows and the news on NPR. As I threw my blinker on to get off at my exit I noticed a red pick up truck in front of me. I smiled a little because the license plate read: 4 SANTA. I then noticed a "Santa's Sleigh" bumper sticker slapped onto the rear fender. Then it clicked. This was the guy that cut me off! I peered into his driver side mirror to see his face and sure enough...there was that pudgy round noggin with whiter than white whiskers! IT WAS SANTA!

All I could do at that point was chuckle to myself and think...what the hell?! First of all, who gets cut off by Santa...and second of all, aren't people who play Santa supposed to be cheery and kind hearted?! I mean seriously...what a jerk!

Now I am totally hell bent on going to the malls during the holidays to find this guy's truck, purposely not sit my kids on his lap, and give him a piece of my mind. It's bad enough that we sit our kids on strangers laps...who wants to knowingly do so on a total phony!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


I just can't seem to concentrate AT ALL today....I am talking like serious A.D.D. here. I guess I can blame it on a number of things....

1. An adorable sweet baby boy who likes to play dr. jekyll and mr. hyde with me at night as he screams for me every couple hours then coos softly while smiling at the sound of my voice (seriously, we are going on 8 months of no sleep now)

2. A willy nilly weekend that set the mode for this week. Tim and I jumped around from uprooting bushes and planting flower beds, to driving 2 hours south to visit family, to entertaining a book club, to chasing Jonas in the rain.

3. That brings me to 3...which is the rain. I actually love gloomy weather every now and again, but it definitely puts me in a sleepy, dreamy, not wanting to pay attention kinda mood.

4. A Monday work day that was actually extremely productive and a Tuesday that was filled with the same...leaving me with little to follow up on today. We all know that Mondays tend to be a catch up from the weekend, and gearing up for the week day...but in a strange occurrence of cosmic alliance  I somehow had one of the most productive days of the week. So much so, that I have almost reached white space in my inbox! (Ask anyone in my office...this is an amazing feat of gigantic proportions)

5. Lack of coffee. The caffeine levels in my blood stream are no where near their normal dosage. I think I have only half finished at least 3 cups of coffee each day so far this week. 

I can pinpoint a number of other the insanely distracting photobooth pics I took with my gal pal that I just have to glance at every so often to get a good laugh...and the obsessive rant I am on with my current wardrobe (which is causing me to search high and low for deals all over planet earth). Hopefully my brain pieces back together by tomorrow so I can go five minutes without switching focus.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

while the hubby's away the wifey will...mop floors, clean poop, cook dinner, go insane...

Lucky duck Tim just got back from an incredible work trip to New York City. I was pretty much jealous the entire time he was up there. He has announced his distaste for NY many times to me (he says it is dirty). How unfair that someone who doesn't even appreciate the Big Apple gets to spend a week there and stay right in the heart of Downtown Manhattan?! (I mean, he literally had to send me a picture and ask me if a building was the empire state building) NY is MY favorite city damn it!

Of course, the entire time he was there he continually sent me awe-inspiring pictures of the view from his room on wall street, from the top of the empire state building, from the street of bustling times get the picture. He even managed to squeeze in a late night phone call from the empire state building and threw in a "Sorry!...I can't really hear you!...It's just so windy on top of the empire state building!" Ha Ha...very funny Koerper.

In his state of absence, I managed to wrangle both kids in the morning to get them to day care on time, keep the house especially spotless and tidy, mop the floors numerous times (which is usually Tim's duty...I HATE mopping), and even remembered to feed the dog. I am so used to not sleeping anymore that the extra non-sleep barely even phased me.

I did, although, get to live vicariously through his photos...and will be finding some way to get a NYC trip in me soon.

Here is a brief look at NY through Tim's iphone eyes:

Tim is now a changed man...a man who loves NY. 

Saturday, April 3, 2010

cupcakes for my cupcakes

Each holiday I try to outdo myself in true super mom fashion. I have this intense desire to be the coolest mom for my kids and in my kids daycare....I am not joking...I want those kids to think, "Man! Jonas and Dylan have the best mom in the whole world!"

So this week I of course stayed up all hours of the night making special yummy marshmallow surprise cupcakes. I would be lying if I said it wasn't a struggle, because all I could think of as soon as I got home from work was putting on some sweats and snuggling up in bed. Silly me thought it would be a good idea to go out with some gal pals the night before, and of course, a few drinks knocked me on my ass and had me hurting all day (I have become somewhat of a light-weight in recent years). But, what kind of mom would I be if I didn't make my kids cupcakes just because I had a hangover? 

I cheated a little with the main cupcake base, but made up for it by putting a ton of effort into the frosting (which was amazing...AND I made it from scratch!).

The cupcake base was simply a box of Pillsbury Funfetti cake mix. I whipped that up and poured about 1/3 of the baking cups full. I let it set and then places 2-3 small mini marshmallows on the batter. (I put 1 on some and they seemed to just disappear once baked).

Then I poured the remainder of the batter on top and shoved the cupcake pans into the oven.

While that baked, I went right to work on my amazingly delicious marshmallow fluff frosting. The recipe is below.

Be super careful when you add the powdered sugar because every time I did it was like a container of baby powder exploded in my kitchen. On another note, homemade frosting looks a MILLION times better on cupcakes than store bought.

The cupcakes were incredible and I will be bragging about them for a while. I'll make sure to save one for you next time.

Marshmallow Fluff Frosting

what you need

1/4 cup (1/2 stick) margarine or butter, softened
1 jar  (7 oz.) JET-PUFFED Marshmallow Creme
1 tsp. vanilla
1 pkg.  (16 oz.) powdered sugar
1 to 2 Tbsp. milk, divided

make it

PLACE margarine, marshmallow creme and vanilla in small bowl; beat on medium speed until well blended. Gradually add sugar, beating after each addition until well blended.
BLEND in 1 Tbsp. of the milk. Add remaining 1 Tbsp. milk if necessary for desired spreading consistency.

Monday, March 29, 2010

green slimey smudges enhance a black t-shirt

I always hold out hope that the weekend will be relaxing for once...that I'll get to sleep in and be lazy, maybe even fit in a nap or 2 when the kids do, who knows, I might even fit in renting a movie if I'm feeling crazy...but once again, my soothing weekend dreams were squashed like a bug under my shoe (well, really under Tim's after I scream bloody murder for him to kill it).

It all began on Thursday when I got a call from the sitter that both kids were showing signs of being sick. I prepped myself almost immediately to keep one, if not both of the kids home on Friday (I HATE when other parents drop off their sick kids and I try my hardest to keep them home at any sure signs of sickness). Sure enough Jonas was up for hours at night coughing, sneezing, and breaking my heart crying. Thanks to my amazingly understanding job, I was able to work from home, so I sent Tim off to work with Dylan for the sitter while Jonas and I poured some orange juice to start our day. Now, a day home with a sick Jonas is no walk in the park. He has inherited his mothers acute talent for whining incessantly when not feeling well and general distaste in the rules. I knew although, that out of the entire day there was just one hurdle to overcome, my very important conference call with one of my "very important" clients. 

I carefully went through all the necessary steps of preparation to keep Jonas at bay during my call. The call was at 1, which left me with all morning to tire Jonas out while also getting some work done. By 12:30 I had already chased him around the house threatening to tickle his feet, given him his dosage of medicine, and somehow stuffed lunch in his belly when I thought he wouldn't even eat.

By 12:50 I had him all set up for a nap in my bed with "Up" playing quietly in the background while I barricaded myself in our office. My call started promptly at 1 without a hitch. I even was able to crack a small joke about excusing any noise in advance as I was working from home with my sick 2 year old. About 20 minutes into the call I hear Jonas questioning from my room: "mommy?...mommy?....where are you mommy?" (Oh no.)

I continued to talk as if I didn't hear him. Within a minute I could hear him at the office door: "mommy?!...cough cough...what are you doing mommy?!" (Maybe he'll pass by and go into his room looking for me.)

Sure enough, Jonas started BANGING on the door: mommy!...let me in mommy!...cough, cough...MOOOOMMMMEEEEEEEEE! LET ME IN MOMMY! COUGH, COUGH, COUGH" (PANIC!)

I let out a nervous laugh. "I am so sorry (Jonas screaming, banging, coughing and sneezing in the background), I swear I don't torture my children, ha...ha" (errrrrr)

On top of it all, my cell phone started ringing text tones loudly as the sitter sends messages about Dylan being sick and me needing to pick him up. Of course, I couldn't get to the damn thing fast enough for me to quiet it, so I just threw it in the closet hoping is wasn't too disruptive. 

I quickly finished my sentence and muted the phone as soon as they started talking. I opened the door, wiped Jonas' snotty nose, gave him a hug and set him up in another room to play as I moved into Dylan's room. Thinking I bought some time, I unmuted my phone and began to join in the conversation again. About 10 minutes go by before Jonas came screaming and banging at the door. (just I SWEATING?!)

Luckily the call ended shortly after and my boss made it a point to say I handled it pretty well, so I left to pick up a snotty and stuffed up Dylan. The rest of my afternoon was spent trying to get any ounce of work in while the kids coughed, sneezed and boogered all over me (gooey globby shirts are all the rage in momville).

Saturday played pretty much like Friday (minus the trying to be all career-like) since Tim had to work. I was able to get a bit of adult conversation in with jess and jerms who came to spend the night (I am still hoping they don't catch the koerper bug)...but, my mommy responsibilities called and I was assigned snuggly comforting, runny nose, runny diaper, runny eye ball duty for the day.

By the end of the day I felt like I had run a marathon. Tim and I obviously had to forgo our typical Saturday mommy-daddy fun night in since I passed out as soon as I hit the bed WITH my snot covered t-shirt still on. Hopefully my little buggers will get better soon so that they sleep soundly and I can sleep with a clean shirt on!

Friday, March 26, 2010

fashion friday

I want to begin exploring my love for fashion a bit more, so I decided to start Fashion Fridays. Each Friday I'll run down my love (or hate) for a fashion trend, or designer collection, or just rant about something cool I saw in a store. Don't ask me's not like I can afford any of it...and I am no expert...I just love it.

For my first ever Fashion Friday I am going to dive into the Spring 2010 ready-to-wear collection from Chanel. This, of course, was inspired by my lady friend jess and I watching "Coco Before Chanel" this past weekend (an incredible movie about Coco's life...get it and watch it when you can).

First of all, the runway and back drop were amazing. It looked like an enchanted farm forest...and there was a band set up in the middle! (kinda looked like lily allen, but I'm not sure) Second of all, the whole collection was super cute! I hate when you see a runway show and every piece looks like something a twig on crack would wear.

Here are some of my favorite looks:

So cute and fun.  I would totally wear this one for work! 

Love this top (not the pantless look so much).  Such a cute party dress (could almost pass for fun wedding dress...also, would look much better on shorter person)

These are 2 of my favorite looks.

Another 2 that I adore and would wear to a party the first chance I got.

These are perfectly light and springy. I want some knock-off versions immediately!

Love this skirt, not so much with that suit top, and this dress is super fun.

Just more cuteness...why can't karl lagerfeld be my cool uncle?

Adorable accessories:

And some of my not-so-favorites:

Not feeling the puffy short-sleeve jacket.   Is this inspired by the Duggers?

Trying to do too many things.  This looks like it was cut out of, liberty bell is not a good shape for the hips.

And, of course, the genius himself. He has done an amazing job of keeping to Coco's vision.

p.s. I totally just realized I had and opened at the same time...classy.