birthday blues

I meant to post on my actual birthday this week (monday) to gripe and moan about the perils of aging and the wrinkles that come along with it. But alas...the whole full-time working mom thing came into play and writing was last on the list.

It's not like I am actually worried about getting older, I mean, I'm not that old...it's just that I feel like I have accomplished so much...college degree, super cute kids, loving marriage, career growth (in no particular order)...and now that I am approaching the 30's I feel like I don't have a plan.

This sudden realization has been causing me such massive amounts of grief and anxiety that I have been switching uncontrollably from being angry and mean, to crying and moping, to sitting up all night fretting.

I'm definitely not the type of person that feels as though my whole life has to be planned and in control at all times, but I just feel so lost. I know what I want and need to do for my kids in the coming years (basically be kick-ass at all things motherhood), but what do I want and need to do for myself?

As the question looms I find myself potentially seeing outlets outside of my everyday schedule. Do I pick up a new hobby? Resurrect an old hobby? Go back to school? Plan a big trip?

Regardless of what I plan at least I know the hubs and the kids would still think I'm pretty awesome. So, here's to another year older, potentially more wiser, and a bit more unknown.